Dearest Leo,

Well, the holidays are here and this year, we decided to stay here and celebrate. Last year, we ran away to Hawaii and escaped all of it. I remember it being so difficult to see the happy children and their parents celebrating the holidays. It was so difficult receiving Christmas cards with pictures of smiling families. I couldn't do it.

This year, we will celebrate, but I'm still worried of the pain that will come with it. Christmas is about spending time with family and my family has been broken, part of it was taken away from me. Every little thing that is beautiful about Christmas reminds me of you. I was signing Silent Night the other day and was reminded of you, of the night that you were born...it was scaringly silent in that delivery room, but at the same time, it was such a beautiful moment to hold you in my arms.

Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace

I really wish you were here Leo so that we could celebrate together, shower you with gifts and kisses and take funny pictures of you in a Santa hat. My nights are silent, a little too silent and too calm. I know it wouldn't be the case if you were here.

Well, until we meet again Leo, sleep in heavenly peace.