Dearest Leo,

We're approaching what would have been your due date: Feb 13. It's so close to Valentine's day and I remember thinking that I would be able to spend it with you, my new love. I'm not sure what to think of the due date though. You were born on Oct 22, 2013 and that will forever be your birthday. The due date though, represents the day we were expecting you to be born, chubby, healthy and mostly, alive.

I still have a picture of you on my phone screensaver. I often glance at it really fast but yesterday, I stopped myself and really looked - very attentively at your sweet little face. I'm still in awe at how perfect, how beautiful and how angelic you looked. It makes me smile.

I find that as time goes on, it's harder for me to find ways to truly honor you. People are starting to forget you, they're starting to forget that we lost you. So I mention you when I can. But it's also hard, because in response I get a mix of sympathy and pity. But what I really want is for people to treat you like they would treat any other baby. Ask questions, smile, talk more about you. I do find, however, that the more I talk about you in a casual way, the more at ease people feel. It's something that takes time and I'm ok with that, as long as you never go forgotten.

I miss you so much.